The Shepherd's Shepherd

GET UP!

GOD IS NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

Chapter 5

The Shepherd’s Shepherd

"Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood” (Acts 20:28)

Somewhere in my second and third year of recovery, I was looking for a church I could attend. I only wanted to sit in the back and worship. I was still embarrassed about my state as a fallen pastor. I was equally ashamed of how far I had fallen. I was too humiliated to go back to the Church that trained me. There, I definitely would meet curious questions. I should add here that the Lord has restored me with that church and the college that trained me. But this came later.

I was still unsure of my salvation at this point. I knew biblically I was saved. But the reassurance in my heart of my salvation was not yet fully realized. God was still in the process of confirming His love for me. I was still in the process of trying to love Him back. My guilt was forefront in my emotions. I was still struggling with some bad habits and addictions. God calls these sins. My desire was to be restored back to God, and maybe He could help me start over.

It was at this time the Lord brought me to one of His shepherds. I praise God for His providence in connecting me with Pastor Kelly Backstrom. As I wrote in Chapter 1, Kelly had fallen from the ministry. God had restored him. Kelly is the Lead Pastor of River Rock Church.

When I met Kelly I had no idea that God was going to use me in ministry again. I also had no idea Kelly would play a key role in my restoration to God and back into ministry. Seeing Kelly restored to ministry made me wonder if God could do the same with me. Many times while talking with Kelly, the thought that God can restore would enter my mind. Kelly was wonderment to me. I watched him carefully. I watched to see if he genuinely was God’s man. I was looking for evidence that Kelly’s restoration was from God. I’m happy to report that Kelly is the real deal. God restored Kelly and there is ample evidence of it in Kelly’s personal life and ministry.

A big part of this evidence is Kelly’s ministry of shepherding me. Kelly was tough enough to tell me when I was off track. He was insightful enough to encourage me to do something at the right time. Convinced that Kelly was one of God’s shepherds, I made a covenant with God. I was not sure God could restore a sinner like me. My covenant was I will never ask to do a ministry. If God wanted me to do something, He was going to have Kelly ask me. I told God, respectfully, that if Kelly asked me to do something, I would consider it coming from Him. I did not want to place myself back into to ministry if it was not God’s will. I don’t know if I ever told Kelly about this covenant until now.

My friends, I never again want anything in my life that does not come from God. I truly mean anything, including the clothes on my back. I really hurt myself and those I love in my rebellion. When I’m in charge, my life is bad and full of disaster. When God is in charge, even the pain and trails have divine purpose. God’s divine purpose is always the best for me. God loves me and I rest my life in His love and care. “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

What if I had not met the Shepherd’s Shepherd?

"Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of My pasture!" declares the LORD” (Jeremiah 23:1).

I sometimes shudder at the thought of what if I had not met Kelly. What if I met a shepherd that said I was damaged goods? What if he said you can worship here, but never again can you be in a leadership role? In that tender time of my return to God; in my guilt and shame, I would have agreed. The sentence of “never again” would have been deserved. I would have accepted it.

By man’s standard of forgiveness and justice this would be right. What would my life be now? Thank You Lord that Your mercy and grace are greater than any penalty deserved. “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death” (Romans 8:1, 2). As each sin I committed comes to mind; as I come to understanding each level of depravity I had reached, also comes the realization that God forgives that too. With forgiveness comes restoration.

      What if Jesus had reached an end point of sin? What if there had been a line we crossed where Jesus said that’s it, you are just too bad. I will forgive no more. You have reached the end of My mercy. You are just too sinful for Me to tolerate anymore. Now you die. Here is all the punishment you deserve! Before salvation and in salvation we are sinners. Is one sin greater than the other? The Pharisees set up a system of sins and appropriate punishments. They took the Law to a whole new level. Do God’s forgiveness, mercy, and grace have levels of appropriateness? “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). Shall we qualify “no condemnation?”

      What if when the people cried “Crucify Him” Jesus declared that’s enough I will not tolerate them anymore. What if the end point was when the soldiers beat Him and put the crown of thorns on His head? What if He said no more as the first lash of the whip torn into His body? What if the end point was when the first nail broke through His hand? What if the end point of forgiveness came as He hung dying of the cross and the people mocked Him? What if Jesus did not forgive and restore Peter after Peter had denied Him 3 times. What If Jesus did not forgive Paul after he had violently persecuted the church and approved the stoning of Stephen? What if God had not forgiven Abraham for committing adultery with Sarah’s handmaid? What if God had not forgiven Jacob for stealing the birth right? What if there were no forgiveness and restoration for King David after adultery with Bathsheba and murdering her husband?

What if there had been no forgiveness for me? What if my forgiveness was only in part and not complete? What if there was a certain sin that says I’ve crossed the line and forgiveness stops here. Because of that sin there might be forgiveness, but not restoration.  

What if God’s shepherd said I’m sorry Steve, but that sin benched you for the rest of your life?  Steve, you crossed the line, you can be forgiven, but never restored. “No condemnation” Paul said! Paul had murdered the saints. He threw Christians into jail. He violently persecuted Jesus Christ’s Church. Here is Paul’s own description his salvation. “I fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to me, 'Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?' "And I answered, 'Who are You, Lord?' And He said to me, 'I am Jesus the Nazarene, whom you are persecuting” (Acts 22:7, 8). Did Jesus bench Paul here? Did Jesus enact retribution for the persecutions and saints murdered? No, here is what Jesus did with Paul. His sent Paul into to service and forgave him in one act. Here is the account. "A certain Ananias, a man who was devout by the standard of the Law, and well spoken of by all the Jews who lived there, came to me, and standing near said to me, 'Brother Saul, receive your sight!' And at that very time I looked up at him. "And he said, 'The God of our fathers has appointed you to know His will and to see the Righteous One and to hear an utterance from His mouth. 'For you will be a witness for Him to all men of what you have seen and heard. 'Now why do you delay? Get up and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on His name” (Acts 22:12-16). There was no qualified forgiveness or restoration here. Paul’s forgiveness was complete, along with one of the greatest commissions that anyone has ever received.

The Heart of The Shepherd, Jesus Christ

“I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. "I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep” (John 10:10b, 11).

      Our Shepherd, The Good Shepherd, came to give us abundant life. Our abundant life comes from our Shepherd laying His life down for us that we might be forgiving and restored back to God. We receive full son-ship in our forgiveness and restoration back to God our Father, Abba. Our restoration back to God is unqualified and absolute.

      I think Kelly saw past my hurt and embarrassment and doubts. He saw that my heart was broken. Kelly had felt the same pain, and 7 years later God had restored Kelly to be the pastor of River Rock Church. Kelly told me in our first meeting, that God loves me. Oh how my soul had long to hear that. It was like fresh water to an extremely thirsty man, me. Many times in my journey with Kelly he would remind me, God loves you Steve. The great message to a sinful world is God loves you! The Gospel is telling of how great God’s love is to a thirsty and dying world.

The depth of God’s love is what the Jews heard in the first declaration the Gospel. Peter explains they had crucified their Messiah. They were “Pierced to the Heart” Luke records in Acts 2:37. These were the Jews that had forced Pilot to crucify Jesus. God still loved them and they were forgiven. This was indeed Good News. God’s first application of love’s salvation came to the very people that brutally murdered Him! Were they only forgiven and not able to serve? Was service in the Christ’s Church only reserved for those who had not participated in the murdering of Jesus? Quite the opposite, some of these people that were saved by God’s great love that day went and started churches in the countries they had come from. The Church at Rome was started most likely by some of these.

Even in salvation we stumble and fall, sin! “If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1John 1:8, 9). Shall we qualify “cleanse us from all unrighteousness?” Does “cleanse us from all unrighteousness” extend to backslidden church leaders? Shall we qualify “all”? What would the Good Shepherd say to the repentant church leader who falls to his knees, broken hearted from sin and asks forgiveness? “A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise” (Psalms 51:17b).

Hear King David’s prayer after Nathan had confronted him with the sin of adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband.

Psalms 51

"For the choir director. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba. Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity And cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions, And my sin is ever before me.

Against You, You only, I have sinned And done what is evil in Your sight, So that You are justified when You speak And blameless when You judge.

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me.

Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.

Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Make me to hear joy and gladness, Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.

Hide Your face from my sins And blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners will be converted to You.

Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation; Then my tongue will joyfully sing of Your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips, That my mouth may declare Your praise.

For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; You are not pleased with burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

By Your favor do good to Zion; Build the walls of Jerusalem.

Then You will delight in righteous sacrifices, In burnt offering and whole burnt offering; Then young bulls will be offered on Your altar.”

Our Lord’s answer to King David’s contrite heart was a restored life as King over Israel. The Lord restored King David. He died as God’s restored and anointed King over Israel.

Then he died in a ripe old age, full of days, riches and honor; and his son Solomon reigned in his place (1 Chronicles 29:28).

Solomon said to God, "You have dealt with my father David with great lovingkindness, and have made me king in his place (2 Chronicles 1:8).

The Heart of the Shepherd’s Shepherd

“the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood” (Acts 20:28b).

The Holy Spirit’s appointed shepherds must accomplish the ministry of the Good Shepherd. The Lord’s shepherd must know intimately the heart of the Good Shepherd. They bear the awesome responsibility to shepherd God’s Church that He purchased with His own precious blood.  

Peter’s Appointment

Peter came to know the Lord’s heart intimately and became one of the Good Shepherd’s shepherds. The Lord appointed Peter. Jesus asked Peter who do you say that I am? Peter blurts out "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God" (Matthew 16:16b). I’ll bet it was to Peter’s surprise when Jesus said that His Father had revealed this to him. I’m sure Peter was even more astonished at his subsequent commissioning. "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven” (Matthew 16:19)

Peter’s intimate Relationship with Jesus

Peter is kept close in the inner circle with Jesus. Their relationship became strong and intimate. The last night together, Jesus tells the disciples that he will be arrested and put to death. It was no surprise that after 3 years with our Lord, Peter would declare "Lord, with You I am ready to go both to prison and to death” (Luke 22:23b)! Jesus told Peter that he would fail and prayed for Peter’s restoral.

Peter’s Fall

When Peter came face to face with the reality of his commitment to die for our Lord, he failed; he fell; he stumbled; he sinned! The completion of Peter’s sin came when the rooster crowed, and then he looks into the eyes of his friend and Lord, Jesus. If you have fallen from your commitment from the Lord, and come to its terrible reality, you can recognize and empathize with the bitter tears of Peter.  “The Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had told him, "Before a rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times." And he went out and wept bitterly” (Luke 22:61, 62).

Peter’s shame and guilt must have reached a depth that we can only imagine as he faces not only his failure to His Lord, but watches his Lord die a brutal death of the cross. Only one other person could have felt that pain. That person was Judas. Judas tried to rid himself of guilt by throwing the coins back into the Temple. Judas’ pain and guilt drove him to hang himself (Matthew 27:3-5).

Peter’s Hope

At the news of the empty tomb, it was no wonder that Peter out ran John to see if the Lord had truly risen from the grave. I believe Peter wondered as he raced to the tomb, is He really the Savior? He said He would save the world from sin. Could my sin be forgiven, as well? Of course I’m speculating here. However, I too am one who was appointed into service of our Lord. I too failed in my commitment to Him. I too have wept bitter tears at the stark reality of my sin. I too have wondered if the Lord could actually save me as He promised. I too have walked in the shadow of hope that forgiveness could reach even to the immensity of my sin. I too like Peter have been forgiven and restored. Its result is I now can empathize with you. I now shepherd you to the Good Shepherd; The Good shepherd who purchased you and me with His blood. His purchase is complete and not lacking, or qualified. It reaches Peter’s sins, my sins, and your sins! There is no one Christ's blood cannot forgive. There is no soul that cannot be saved. There is no life that cannot be restored.

      Understand the Good Shepherd’s heart as He forgives and restores Peter. Jesus calls to Peter and reminds him that He is Lord. Jesus said cast your nets on the other side. This is how Jesus called Peter the first time to ministry. Then and now Peter cast his net to the other side and the catch is miraculous. Then Jesus prepares the disciples a meal.

Peter, like the adulterous woman, now comes face to face with his Savior. Peter now meets the Shepherd Who laid down His life not only for the world, but for Peter too. The Shepherd now speaks forgiveness and restoration together.  

Peter’s Forgiveness and Restoration

Hear the Lord speak to Peter and to me and to you. “So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus *said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?" He *said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He *said to him, "Tend My lambs." He *said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" He *said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He *said to him, "Shepherd My sheep." He *said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus *said to him, "Tend My sheep” (John 21:15-17).

Our Forgiveness and Restoration

Now Peter not only understands the depth of the Shepherd’s forgiveness, but he understands the heart of his Shepherd. In your fallen state would you go to Peter to seek help? My shepherd is Pastor Kelly Backstrom. Kelly had fallen and knew the pain of brokenness. Kelly also had experienced the heart of his Savior and Shepherd and His forgiveness and restoration to his life.

As I began to tell Kelly how badly I had fallen, Kelly stopped me and said he had fallen also. God had restored him. Kelly then poured his heart, like the Savior's heart onto my heart and said Steve, God loves you! My dear friend, who read this, God loves you!

"I will also raise up shepherds over them and they will tend them; and they will not be afraid any longer, nor be terrified, nor will any be missing," declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 23:4